For Immediate Release . . .

Sarah Palin's Secret Diary
Reveals She Voted for Obama

Los Angeles, CA—When she stepped inside the voting booth in her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, on election day last year, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin cast her vote for Barack Obama, according a fallacious diary, penned by satirist Joey Green. Sarah Palin’s Secret Diary, a “genuine imitation” of the former Alaska governor’s private journal, also reveals that Palin seriously asked the producers of “Saturday Night Live” if she could waterboard Tina Fey on the show.

Among the many ersatz revelations in the spurious diary are that Palin had the hots for Joe the Plumber, practiced for her debate against Joe Biden with her 13-year-old daughter Willow, and went on a campaign shopping spree at Neiman-Marcus to buy lingerie, luggage, and an espresso maker. The simulated diary also discloses that Palin found her teenage daughter Bristol and boyfriend Levi Johnston alone in a bedroom—buck naked and surrounded by lit candles—but feared the teens were practicing Satanism, not premarital sex.

The fictitious diary portrays Palin’s husband Todd as a mischievous prankster. He toilet-papers the home of the Alaska State Trooper who divorced his wife’s sister and then persuades the Trooper to taser Levi Johnston until the teen agrees to marry Palin’s pregnant daughter Bristol.

“Sarah Palin told the media that she kept a journal during her pregnancy, her teenage daughter’s pregnancy, and her campaign for Vice President,” said Green. “I wondered what torrid secrets the diary might reveal, but for legal reasons, I’m not allowed to claim that a disgruntled Alaska State Trooper broke into her home, stole her diary, and FedExed it to me. I remain 100% convinced that Sarah Palin wrote every single word of this diary, even if the book does call itself a forgery right on the cover.”

According to the fabricated diary, Republican Presidential nominee John McCain watched the movie “Top Gun” obsessively, wore a pilot’s helmet printed with the name “Maverick,” and frequently piloted his campaign jet, doing barrel rolls and loop-de-loops. To convince McCain to choose her as his running mate, Palin unzipped her dress and let it drop to the floor. “I was wearin’ a hot red regulation one-piece Miss Alaska swimsuit,” she allegedly writes. “I started promenadin’ across the deck to strut my stuff and show off my great poise.”

This lampoon of Sarah Palin’s intimate story gives readers an imaginary peek inside one of the most astonishing minds in American politics. She teaches us how to speak Maverick (“Todd and I are obviously marverickosexuals”), explains why she wants to ban Harry Potter books (“They’re the devil’s work . . . . and they’re way too long”), and shares a list of proposed titles for her memoirs (including “The Sarah Palin Pop-Up Book,” “The Governor’s New Clothes,” and “My Face Is Up Here (in Alaska!)”).